Expat Aralys: entrepreneurship as a leader with homesickness

Four years ago, I found myself in an interesting situation: I was stuck in the Netherlands because of a global pandemic. What began as an unforeseen situation quickly developed into a life-changing journey. Confusion and a touch of homesickness turned into one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life.

My name is Aralys Castillo, I am an American expat who became an entrepreneur in the Netherlands. In those first, uncertain corona months, my partner and I laid the foundation for our company Dream Dough Cafe (previously called Sweet Dreams Bakery). The road to leadership was anything but smooth, but that’s precisely why it’s worth sharing!

Our business, located in downtown Eindhoven, is an American-style bakery-café. We specialize in freshly baked Cinnamon Rolls (Cinnarolls), cookies, a full brunch menu and, of course, great drinks. Without bragging: it’s just freakin’ delicious! Everything is handmade and those rolls almost melt in your mouth.

With a lot of trial and error, we managed to capture that true American flavor in every bite. And we did it healthy! Well, not healthy with carrots and celery, but with only 269 calories per Cinnaroll. Responsible AND tasty.

Have you ever eaten a dish where you thought, Is Jesus in the kitchen? Yes, that’s how it is.

In the four years now behind us, we have approached business as if we were playing a game. Or perhaps as if we were taking a crash course at Business University. The lessons you learn through practical experience are worth more than any degree. We are incredibly proud of what we have accomplished and learned along the way. But we are also exhausted.

Right now, we are ready to press the secret combo on the game console. To stuff ourselves full of mushrooms and go straight to the level where we defeat King Kong and catch Pikachu. In other words, we’re tired of learning the hard way. We want the shortcut. We want to take a 10-year journey in one go and just get the answers already.

Learn about leadership The big question for me is in the area of leadership. Recently, I became the sole captain of the ship because my partner accepted an incredible full-time job. I am now navigating the next, adventurous chapter on my own.

I know how to be a boss. I can make fantastic to-do lists, delegate tasks like a pro and explain exactly what needs to be done. But if I take that too far, I can get brutal in the worst way. And let’s face it, that’s not the recipe for good leadership. There is a big difference between being a boss and being a leader.

With all the technological advances, I’m sure AI will soon be able to replace a boss. It can generate a to-do list better than anyone else. But being a leader? That’s where the magic happens. Leaders who inspire, drive growth. They help the team understand the big picture. I am aware that good leadership builds stronger companies.

A boss commands respect and checks boxes. But a leader empowers people. And that’s the kind of impact I want to make.

Improving your leadership skills forces you to grow. And what entrepreneur doesn’t like personal growth? Well, for me it means more of a love-hate relationship. Because let’s face it: by growing, you expose your ego and all your not-so-pretty character flaws, only to replace them with something better. But if I didn’t love myself enough to embrace growth, the company wouldn’t have made it this far. So here I am, on a journey to become a better leader. So far, I’ve hit two major bumps in the road.

Mentorship

First, leading a team means mentoring. And mentoring, above all, requires time. Precious time of which I never seem to have enough, thanks to the many hats I have to juggle as a small business owner. I wear hats like chef and baker, head coach, marketing, administration, customer service, intercompany relationship manager. And many more.

I imagine that in a larger company there is enough money to hire more people. With that, you can delegate better, reducing the pressure on one person. That gives leaders the breathing room to guide their team and make sure everyone is growing. But from a small business perspective, I have to keep our purse strings tight.

I constantly ask myself what should I invest our limited money in? In new machinery to speed up production? In marketing to increase sales? Or should I invest in another team member? But if I want to focus on mentoring one person, I need to hire another to do production. And yes, in the long run, this investment can help my business prosper by making the team feel more supported. But for the short term: how can I pay their salary if revenue doesn’t increase?

A leader with homesickness

The second bump then: Leadership requires the captain to have his hands full, perhaps too full. When I left the U.S. four years ago, I was overjoyed. Europe beckoned. Was I Emily in Paris? No. I was Aralys in the Netherlands! I didn’t expect to be homesick, but the reality is that I miss my family all the time. Whether I am working or enjoying a drink, that homesickness is always there.

However, the reality is that at the moment I cannot go away for days or weeks at a time to keep the business thriving. So I cannot be home as often as I would like. It will now be at least 12 months before I can go to my family. So for now, leadership goes hand in hand with a heart full of homesickness. It feels like trying to grow a flower in the desert.

I like to think of myself as a positive person, but in reality I am an expat living a challenging life. Yes, we expats, we choose to move away. We feel called to experience a new culture. But that doesn’t mean we want to cut ties with what we left behind. Sometimes what we gained here does not compare to what we had at home. And other times what we find in this wonderful country is even better.

I find myself in a unique position, focusing on growing our business with a specific goal in mind: putting processes in place so that my team can run the business smoothly without my constant presence. This goal drives me, especially because I have a wonderful family in the US, and because I desperately need homemade food made by mom.

Sharing with the team

I believe that given the circumstances, I have made great progress in improving my leadership skills. For example, I am open and honest with my team about what is expected of them. They understand the overarching goal we are striving for. And I don’t shy away from sharing my homesickness with them. I also walk them through the various bumps the company faces and invite them to overcome these challenges with their ideas and solutions. After all, they are my team.

Working together to solve unique problems is one of the best lessons to learn and grow as a leader. I regularly ask my team for input on how we can improve our space, menu or processes. We discuss goals and, more importantly, the reasons behind them. I want them to really understand the business and begin to see the café as their own.

Of course, not all team members want to grow. Some are fine with their routine and that’s fine too. At the end of the day, I keep learning how to be a better leader. For each individual on my team. But certainly for myself as well. With my personal goals and homesickness.

Share your lessons

I’m sure many of you reading this article have your own experience with leadership. Whether you are well into your successful business, are just starting up, have failed businesses, have a large corporation, etc. You have learned and experienced so much, so my question is: What are some of the biggest lessons you have learned when it comes to leading and growing a team? If you have any lessons or stories you would like to share, I invite you to share your golden nuggets of wisdom with me.

Send me an email at dreamdoughcafe@gmail.com or come by for some delicious Cinnamon Rolls and coffee. Visit our cafe at Jan van Lieshoutstraat 14 in Eindhoven.

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